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Men Who Ghost Before the First Date
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Who’s Sven, you ask? I’ll tell you who he is not. He is not the man of your dreams. He appears to be the man of your dreams, but don’t be fooled.
I have met 3 Svens in my life. Tell me if this any of this sounds familiar.
Sven #1 - Vaguely knew him through some mutual friends, but reconnected with him at a bar. Talked to him for hours and (in the interest in full disclosure) I kissed him in the bar. Hey, this was a couple of years ago. I was young. Give me a break. Anywho, he told me how amazing it was that I was so successful and smart and how he couldn’t wait to take me to dinner. I was SO excited.
The next night he called me and I missed the call. So, I called him back. Never heard from him again.
Sven #2 - Met this adorable boy at a work event. Totes presh. We chatted it up and he invited me to a little after party at a nice restaurant where we had martinis and scallops, etc. He kissed me goodnight and told me all about the restaurant he wanted to take me to in La Jolla the next weekend. I was super stoked.
The next day he texts me, “hey, here’s my number so that you have it.” Never heard from him again.
Sven #3 - Met him at a bar where we talked for prob like 30 mins. Homeboy asked for my number and I was so pumped.
Then we texted back and forth that night. He told me he hoped he could take me out sometime soon. And then, oh hey, never heard from him again.
Sensing a pattern here? Once I realized this was not an isolated incident, I decided that such men would need to be recognized and labeled. I chose to classify them as Svens (as a result of the uber-Europeon mustache Sven #1 was rocking) and to make the recognition of a Sven easy, I’ve compiled a list of a few of their most common traits:
- A Sven is s a guy you talk to for hours at the bar and you think you’ve really connected with.
- A Sven is a dude that is usually super cute and he acts as though he is infatuated with you.
- A Sven is the type of boy who will tell you how much he is looking forward to taking you out to dinner. He’ll also most likely say the sentence, “I can’t believe you are single” at least once during the conversation.
- And most importantly, a Sven is a guy who completely fails on the follow through.
So here’s my question though… what’s up with these Svens? No really, I am asking you guys on this one. I mean, the easy answer would be that these Svens are really just guys that “aren’t that interested” in you. But then the question remains, why bother to spend all night talking to you? And why the half-ass outreach? Wouldn’t it be much simpler to not gush over you, or not ask for your number, or hey, maybe just not call at all?
This Sven behavior is one dude-sitch I will never understand, and I’m sincerely hoping you all will have some insight for me. Am I alone in this, or is this just common practice these days? Have any of you had Svens of your own? And most importantly, anyone know some guys who may be able to help explain this particular behavior to us? For reals, let me know.